


Something New to Get Off To

by Biblionerd



Series: You Really Get Off On This Shit [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fake AH Crew, GTA AU, M/M, Multi, Myansay eventually, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Team Same Desk, Trans Jack, Tuggwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-10 12:50:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4392551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biblionerd/pseuds/Biblionerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lindsay saves him from the cops, Vagabond starts to think the destruction wasn't the only thing getting him off. And her husband is kinda into it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The fic posted here is intended to be enjoyed by other fans, not the people it is based on. I do not consent for any of these works to be used in any RT productions or live streams

Michael was waiting by the door when Lindsay and Vagabond walked through it. He jumped past his wife, reaching up to try and pull the mask of Vagabond’s head. The taller man laughed behind the mask and ducked, moving away while Lindsay grabbed Michael around the waist to try and pull him away.

“Leave him alone!” she protested, throwing all her weight into holding her very strong husband back. “He can wear the damn mask if he wants to!”

“But you said he’s hot!” Gavin added, joining the fray. He was more agile, jumping onto Vagabond’s back like a monkey and pulling at the mask under his chin.

“We don’t out people without their permission,” Jack said lazily, still sitting on the couch. Geoff sat next to her, counting out little piles of money onto the coffee table.

“Lindsay did!” Gavin pouted, dropping off Vagabond’s back.

“Extenuating circumstances,” Vagabond allowed, straightening.

“Circumstances in which you were kissing my fuckin’ wife, you asshole,” Michael said, punching Vagabond in the arm.

“Hey, _she_ kissed _me_ ,” the other man returned. Michael turned to Lindsay, who shrugged.

“It seemed like a good idea at the time?” she offered, taking his face in her hands and leaning in to kiss him quickly before turning back to Vagabond. “And you kissed back, don’t think your tongue ended up in my mouth on its own. Also, Gav, you owe me fifty bucks,” she reminded the Brit, as Michael reached his own hands up to wipe a smear of red face paint off her cheek.

“WOT?” Gavin shrieked. “That’s not fair! It was who gets him to take off his mask, not who pulls it off to make out with him!”

“I said whoever got his mask off without him killing them for it,” Lindsay countered. “You’re the one who assumed we’d have to get him to take it off himself.”

Vagabond looked between the two arguing. “You bet on who would get my mask off?” They couldn’t see his mouth behind the mask, but there was a smile in the question.

Gavin shrugged. “Well, yeah. You’re so Mister Mystery, we got curious.”

“I figured you were just hideous,” Ray added from where he sat curled in the oversized arm chair, his attention never diverting from his handheld game.

“I figured scars, or a birthmark,” Jack said, leaning into Geoff. “Something that would make you really recognizable.”

“Which is still a possibility under face paint,” Geoff contributed.

“Why didn’t you just ask?,” Vagabond asked the group.

Gavin’s jaw dropped. “You mean we could have just asked?!” he cried in indignation. “You’d have taken it off, just like that?”

“Well, no,” Vagabond admitted, and Gavin spun around the threw himself onto the couch (and across Geoff and Jack).

“We figured you had your reasons for keeping it on, even after you got to know us,” Jack answered. “We don’t out people without their permission.”

“Huh,” was all the masked merc had to say. His eyes met Lindsay’s through the mask and she could see them crinkle at the corners.

“It’s not fair,” Gavin’s voice was muffled, as his face was still planted in Geoff’s lap. “Lindsay got his mask off, she got to see him **and** he’s hot.”

“Life is so cruel,” Jack cooed, rubbing her hand across his shoulders.

*****

The subject of what was under Vagabond’s mask didn’t come up again until a few weeks later when Lindsay and Michael joined most of the others in Geoff’s penthouse one evening for bevs, the latter nearly bouncing through the door.

“Guess what?” she cried excitedly. Gavin looked to Michael for a clue, the other man shrugged.

"You're getting a kitten?" Geoff guessed from the kitchen where he was chopping peppers for his signature chili that was taking shape on the stove.

"Better!" Lindsay answered.

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Better than a kitten?"

This made Lindsay pause. "Well, maybe not better. But just as good."

"You're knocked up," Ray said from his usual spot, curled into the oversize arm chair.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Michael grumbled, sinking into the couch. Lindsay was still too bouncy to sit still.

"I figured out who Vagabond is,” she crowed.

“Wot?” Gavin’s interest in the conversation skyrocketed. “I’ve been looking for any trace of him for months, can’t find anything about him other than old stories about a mad mercenary who wears a creepy skull mask.”

“Well, I thought he looked familiar when I saw him, but the paint threw me off. But I saw Kdin yesterday and remembered, he had a thing with a hot guy named James like 8 months ago. It’s totally Vagabond,” Lindsay explained.

“Are you sure?” Geoff questioned. “Wouldn’t you have recognized his voice or something?”

Lindsay looked less sure of herself. “Wellllll, I only saw him a couple times, once at the bar when Kdin hooked up with him, and once when he dropped him off the next day to meet me for a sale,” she admitted. “It was only like a one or two night stand or whatever. But I’m pretty sure it’s him.”

“Humph,” Geoff grunted. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“I bet it’s not him,” Gavin declared.

“It is! I swear it is,” Lindsay defended herself.

“Wanna bet?” Gavin grinned at her.

“You still owe me for the mask thing,” she replied.

Gavin was saved from having to make another excuse as to why he hadn’t paid up by the man of the hour making his appearance.

Vagabond moved into the apartment and stopped to take his jacket off and lay it over the back of the couch. When he had completed this task and no one had greeted him yet, he looked around in confusion to see everyone watching him. “Um...hi?” his voice was hesitant.

“Why hello there...James,” Geoff greeted from the kitchen. Vagabond’s head snapped to look at the crew leader, but said nothing. “Is that your name, V?”

“Where did you hear that?” the masked man asked cautiously.

“D’you remember a kid named Kdin, you picked him up at a bar a few months back?,” Lindsay probed cautiously.

“Aw, dammit, I was hoping you hadn’t seen me,” Vagabond hung his head. Gavin whooped loudly, and even Ray looked up. “I spent the week after you saw my face waiting for you to remember, and figured you’d never seen me when you didn’t bring it up.”

“The face paint threw me a bit,” Lindsay admitted.

“So your name is James, then?” Ray asked.

“Well…” Vagabond (James?) hesitated. “I mean, technically? It’s what’s on my ID, but it’s not my real name.” The group let out a collective moan.

"So close!" Ray called, turning his attention back to his game.

"If it's not James, what is your name then?" Michael whined.

 ~~James~~ Vagabond opened his mouth to reply but Jack interrupted from the kitchen. "Hey, we have a strict No Outing policy!” she reminded the group. Vagabond sent her a thankful glance.


	2. Chapter 2

The next time one of the crew saw Vagabond mask-less was the next weekend, though Michael didn’t realize who it was initally. He and Lindsay were out drinking and dancing with her team, celebrating a big deal they’d just brokered. He had a few drinks, just getting to the point of tipsy, but knew he needed to keep his head since his wife certainly wouldn’t. She was having too much fun dancing with Jeremy and Steffie out on the floor while he went to get her another drink.

He leaned his back against the bar while the bartender made his drink and watched the group of them dancing like idiots. Lindsay’s face was reddened by the alcohol in her veins, a sheen of sweat on her brow, and her smile was as wide as the cheshire cat’s. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life.

Just then a man approached her from behind and began to dance against her. He was tall, handsome, broad shouldered, and blond, his hair a little too long to be stylish. Michael hated him immediately, and began to move through the crowd toward them. He knew Lindsay could handily shoot down guys hitting on her, but Michael was her husband, it was his job to defend her honour.

Michael kept his eye on them as he moved closer. He saw the tall man place his hand on Lindsay’s swaying hip and pull her back against him, leaning down to speak into her ear. Michael was watching, waiting to see her turn and slap him or something, but Lindsay did something unexpected. She turned her head to look this strange man in the face and _smiled_. This asshole was feeling up his wife in the middle of the damn club and she’s _smiling at him_? His steps got longer and he was less cautious about knocking into the other dancers. A string of annoyed glares followed him across the floor.

Lindsay had turned her face back toward him and she stepped into him, her hand on his chest to try and ward off the violence she saw in his eyes, “Michael, you remember _James_ , don’t you?” It took a second for the emphasis she put on the name to burn through the haze of anger and the slight buzz of alcohol clouding his brain. 

_James_ , he mouthed the name, trying to remember who they knew named James. Lindsay watched the wheels turn in his head until his eyes widened and he glanced quickly between her and the mask-and-face-paint-free Vagabond, who grinned back at him. 

Lindsay said something to Steffie and grabbed both men by the hands, pulling them off to the side of the dance floor where large sliding doors were open onto a wooden patio at the back of the club. The noise of the club was quiet enough that they didn’t have to shout or speak right into each other’s ears to be heard. Vagabond continued grinning at them and took a sip of the beer in his hand.

“What the fuck, dude, I thought you didn’t drink?” Michael accused. 

Vagabond quirked an eyebrow and shrugged. “People give you weird looks when you don’t have a drink in hand in a place like this,” he explained. “And they don’t go home with the guy drinking diet coke.”

“So you’re just here to pick up?” Lindsay asked. She looked at Michael’s empty hands. “Hey, asshole, where’s my drink?”

Michael rolled his eyes. “I was coming to defend my wife who was being creeped on by big and grabby over here! I left it on the bar." Lindsay rolled her eyes and made her way back to the bar to get another drink.

Michael looked Vagabond up and down. At the other man's quirked eyebrow, he said, "I get it now. The mask, I mean."

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, I mean, you're like a golden god, people are gonna remember you. A mask is easier than not leaving any witnesses."

Vagabond smiled at that. "Why do you think that not leaving witnesses would be a hardship for me?"

Michael shook his head, but he was smiling at his crew member when Lindsay came bouncing back, a fresh drink in her hand. "Come on, let's dance," she cajoled the men. "You gonna join us on the floor, _James_ , or shall we leave you to finding someone to take your beer drinking ass home?"

Vagabond laughed. "Well, if I didn't know any better, I'd think I have a chance at going home with the Jones'!" he joked. Lindsay smirked at him but looked confused. "Well, between you sexually assaulting me in an alley and Michael calling me a golden god, a guy is likely to read between the lines."

Lindsay threw her head back and laughed, her inebriation letting her miss the way Vagabond's smile didn't quite meet his eyes. Michael saw it though, and wondered if V hadn't been entirely kidding.

*****

Michael got used to seeing Vagabond around more outside of Fake AH Crew activities, both in his mask and out of it. One day he was volunteering as extra scary muscle while Lindsay negotiated for some new guns. Another he came home to find her helping Vagabond apply some kind of sealer over his usual face paint. That night the mad mercenary joined them for supper, and stayed up playing video games with Michael long after Lindsay had gone to bed. He was just...around. He was slowing becoming a bigger part of their lives.

The three of them didn’t really advertise how much extra time they spent together, since Vagabond still was still a little shy around the rest of the crew. Michael didn’t realize how close Lindsay was getting to Vagabond until she slipped up one day when the crew was gathering for a heist planning session. She looked up when the other man entered the penthouse and a grin broke out across her face. “On good, you’re here early, Ry, I need you to weigh in on which knives to get for the crew.” She walked to the table where she’d left a large heavy case when they’d arrived. Vagabond went to join her and inspect the contents, not noticing that once again the rest of the group was shocked silent and staring at him. 

“What’d you call him?” Geoff asked, interrupting their testing the balance of the various throwing knives in the case.

Lindsay’s head snapped up. She looked terrified and glanced at the man beside her, who sighed. “She called me by my name,” he said, reaching up to pull off the mask on his head. 

“I’m so sorry, Ryan,” Lindsay apologized. “It just slipped out.”

“It was bound to happen eventually. Besides, now Gavin can stop trying to find excuses to get my mask off,” Ryan joked. He looked up to see the rest of the Fake AH staring at him.

“No paint today?” Michael asked nonchalantly.

“Naw, I only do that for jobs, not when I’m just meeting with you guys. Feels less formal.”

“Less...” Geoff sputtered. “Okay, whatever buddy, I’m just glad we’re past the whole secret identity thing. That mask was creepy as dicks.” Gavin was still staring, open mouthed. Jack reached over and pushed his chin up.

Ray turned back to his handheld. “You’re still a nerd,” he declared.

Ryan rolled his eyes. “Are we good, then?” he asked the group. Without waiting for an answer he turned back to the knives laid out on the table, picking one up and sighting along the blade. “This one won’t stay true for long, so if we’re looking to recover them and use them again, I’d go with the German ones.” 

And just like that, they were back to work.

*****

"You know she thinks you're joking," Michael's non-sequitur nearly threw Ryan off his game. It was the third time in the last 10 days Ryan had joined them for supper and gaming. Lindsay had lounged on the couch, dividing her attention between the games on screen and her phone, until an hour previous when she’d kissed them both on the cheek and bid them goodnight. 

“What?” Ryan lost the lead in their game, trying to figure out what Michael was talking about and play at the same time.

“Lindsay,” Michael clarified. “She thinking you hitting on her is just a joking friend thing.”

“Well, uh, I mean, uh, I wound, I mean wouldn’t step on your feet, I mean your toes like that,” Ryan had lost control of both his playing and his speech.

“It’s cool man, we’re kinda monogamish, if you know what I’m saying.”

“Uh, no, I have no idea what you’re saying.”

“I mean, like, we’re married and mostly we sleep with each other, but sometimes we want to sleep with someone else, that’s cool. As long as we’re honest about it and shit. Like, Gav and I still hook up sometimes, but I always tell Linds about it. And she can fool around or whatever she wants.”

“I get the concept, I’d just...never heard that term before.”

“Damn, dude, I should fluster you more often, you SUCK tonight,” Michael crowed as his victory screen popped up. 

While the next match loaded, Ryan snuck a glance at Michael. “So, you ever hook up with someone else, like, together?”

“What, like a threesome with Gav?” Michael laughed. “No, I mean, we’ve never been into the same person at the same time, you know?”

Ryan wondered that Lindsay might not be the only oblivious Jones in the house.

“But yeah, you’re gonna have to be real blunt with Linds,” Michael commented. “She’s got some kind of idea that she isn’t the number one most beautiful woman in the world, despite how often I tell her she’s wrong.”

“Are you...are you giving me tips on how to hit on your wife?” Ryan still couldn’t believe he was having this conversation.

“Well, you’ve obviously got great taste in women.”


	3. Chapter 3

"Okay, listen up, dicks," Geoff raised his voice slightly to get everyone's attention. "This idiot owns three jewellery stores in the city and keeps the electronic key generators for all three vaults on his fuckin' key chain. He's some dumb rich boy whose Mommy and Daddy bought him the stores so he could play at being a real grown up business man. The managers they hired are too sharp for this kinda shit, but the overgrown frat boy is just dumb as a box of dicks. And we're gonna take away his toys."

"Lindsay, this should be right up your alley, you like being a bully," Ryan winked at her, and she punched him in the arm in reply.

The plan was simple. Ryan and Lindsay would distract the stuff while Michael lifted the keys (Geoff said it was because Ryan was less recognizable without the mask, but really it's because he was as subtle as a freight train and not any good at picking pockets). They'd leave and lay low for an hour until Michael ran the keys to the other teams who were waiting at the other stores. When everyone had the keys in hand, two man teams would hit them at the same time, before the owner noticed that he was short three keys. Ray would camp out across from the police station to buy some cover fire for Geoff and Gavin, who would be robbing the store location only a block away. 

Michael entered the store first, his baseball cap pulled over his curls and low over his eyes. Despite his attempts to looks inconspicuous, every eye was on him as the only customer in the store. He wandered around, glancing in the cases and waving off any attempts to assist him purchase anything.

Lindsay and Ryan entered a few minutes later, hand in hand. A couple loudly looking at jewellery was sure to attract the full attention any good salesman. They browsed the cases, Lindsay pretending to just _love_ every big piece they looked at. The saleswoman and the owner were both helping them, but Lindsay could see the black suited security guard following Michael with his eyes. They needed some kind of scene to get all the attention off him.

"Baby, you gonna buy me something _real_ nice after what I did for you last night," she assumed a New York whine as she leaned over the counter to peer closely at the very large, very expensive emerald ring. 

"Oh yeah?" Ryan replied. Lindsay stood up straight and spun around, leaning back into the display cabinet, grabbing Ryan's arms to pull around her. He quirked an eyebrow, and she smiled with sin in her eyes.

"Yeah, baby, you loved it when I was choking on your cock," Lindsay saw the security guard turn to her as she said the words a little too loudly. She ran her hands through Ryan's hair, only to sell their cover story, she told herself, not because she'd been itching to for weeks.

Thankfully Ryan was not unskilled at improv. "You just look so good with a cock in your mouth," his voice had taken on a husky quality. "And even hotter when Michael started taking you from behind with it still in there."

His hands drifted lower to skim over her ass. Lindsay felt her face redden slightly, hoping it looked more like arousal colouring her cheeks than embarrassment. "Mmm, yeah, babe. But I think I liked it best when I had you filling my pussy and Michael in my ass."

"Even better than when we both came all over your tits and licked it all off?" The question was accompanied by Ryan's hands sliding up her sides until they rested along her ribcage, his thumbs brushing the sides of her breasts. Both of them were breathing a little harder now. 

Lindsay was vaguely aware of the people in her periphery, of Michael moving into the space behind the owner, who couldn't take his eyes off the couple in front of him. "I think you came hardest when I fucked your ass with a strap-on and Michael fucked your mouth," she said. She saw Michael slip back from his target only a half second before Ryan leaned down to kiss her fiercely. 

Lindsay leaned into the kiss, pressing her body along the length of Ryan's. His hands moved back down to grasp her ass firmly, hitching her up against the counter so he could grind against her. Only when they heard the tinkle of the bell at the door did they break apart.

"Sorry," Ryan apologized to the saleswoman. "I think we'll have to come back when I can afford to buy this woman the whole damn store." He took Lindsay by the hand and practically pulled her out of the store.

They met Michael back at their car a few blocks away. His motorcycle was parked next to it and he was already astride when they approached. He handed them a little key fob, about the size of a flash drive with a small 8-digit display on one side and "1416 Broad", the address of the store they had just left, scratched into the other side. 

Lindsay gave him a quick kiss. "Sorry about all that babe, the guard wasn't taking his eyes off you," she said by way of explanation.

"Uh huh," Michael replied. "Seems kissing up on Ryan as a means of distraction is becoming a habit for you." He was smiling, teasing them both.

"Well, he's very distracting," she agreed.

"Kay, you guys hole up in the safe house and get your game face on," Michael advised. "I'll drop the second one off with Geoff and call you when I meet up with Jack."

"Good luck," Lindsay called after him as he sped away on the bike. Turning to Ryan, she said, "The safe house is just back around the corner from the store, I'll move the car into position and meet you there?"

*****

Lindsay exited the elevator and turned down the hall toward the apartment at the end of the hall, next to the stairwell. Ryan was leaning against the wall across from the door.

"Sorry, I forgot they keys were on the same ring," she apologized. She busied herself with unlocking the door, a bit embarrassed that she had once again manipulated him into kissing her, even though she'd had good reason to do so. She felt him come up behind her and rushed to turn the key, fumbling a bit. Ryan's large hand covered hers and unlocked the door. "Thanks, I guess the adrenaline is still..." Lindsay turned to look at him and found him still close against her, their faces inches apart. Her eyes went to his mouth, unable to look away as his bit his bottom lip.

She finally looked up to meet his eyes, leaning back against the still closed door. "Linds," he started, seemingly losing the thread of what he was going to say. Was it her imagination or was Ryan leaning closer to her?

Lindsay's suspicions were confirmed when he pressed her against the door with his mouth latched on hers. This time with no one to see, no one to distract or mislead, his lips were softer, less insistent, but still hungry. Lindsay fumbled behind her to open the door and they nearly fell through the doorway. Ryan took the momentum and took them further into the apartment, flailing his arm behind him to close the door before pressing her against the first wall they encountered. 

Ryan ran a hand down her side, over her hip to grasp her thigh and hitch it up against his leg. He was still much taller than her so it didn't bring her much closer than she had been just standing. He growled low in his throat, leaned down to grab her ass and pulled her up. Lindsay quickly wrapped her legs around his hips and fisted her hands in his hair as he pulled away from the wall, walking over to the counter in the kitchen area and setting her on it. 

This left Lindsay's hands free to roam, glancing over the hard planes of his back, moving back up to run through his hair again, and back down to the waist of his jeans. Her hands delved under the hem of his shirt, his skin hot under her. Ryan's mouth moved from hers to her neck to her collarbone, kissing and sucking along her soft skin. She could feel him grin against her neck when she let out a moan when he hit a particularly sensitive spot.

Lindsay started fumbling with Ryan's belt buckle when his hands stopped hers. She pulled back, opening her half-lidded eyes to meet his. "Lindsay, are you sure you want this?" he asked softly.

She shot him a look, somewhere in between confused and incredulous. "I'm currently trying my damndest to get your pants off, what do you think?" she replied.

"I need to hear you say it."

Lindsay sighed. "I Lindsay, being of fairly sound mind and very horny body want you to fuck me here on this counter. Or over on that couch. Or we could see if there's a bed in here somewhere. Or hell, even just on the floor. That good enough for you?"

In answer, his mouth crashed into hers, even more insistent, more desperate than before.

*****

"You know," Lindsay commented, pulling her blouse down over her head. "When I was listing all the spots you could fuck me in this place, I didn't intend for it to be a to do list."

Ryan grinned back at her as he replaced his own shirt. "I'm a thorough kind of guy, what can I say?" He glanced at his phone as he put it in the pocket of his jeans. "T minus 8 minutes, we'd better get in position."

As they rode down the elevator, Ryan glanced at Lindsay. "You know, we're gonna have to talk about this," he said softly.

Lindsay pulled out her pistol, flicking off the safety. "Later. For now, less talky, more mayhem."


	4. Chapter 4

The crew met back at Geoff's penthouse was less jovial than you would expect after a successful heist. When they had met Geoff's fence at a dilapidated farmhouse outside of town, she had informed them that a good portion of the jewels they had stolen had ID numbers micro-engraved on them. She could move them, but not as quickly as they had hoped, and not as profitably. It was still a successful score, but the disappointment at this news coloured their reactions.

They all filed in, taking off disguises and jackets, Ryan pulling off the skull mask. Geoff did a double take and asked, "Don't you usually go full weirdo face paint for heists?"

Michael didn't miss the guilty glance Lindsay sent him when Ryan shrugged and mumbled, "Didn't have time."

The group relaxed together for a while, Gavin and Michael pulling out a game and the conversation ebbing and flowing around the events on Geoff's big screen. As the night wore on, Lindsay began to yawn. "Babe, you ready to head home soon?" she asked Michael.

"Aww, no, Micoo, don't go," whined Gavin, throwing himself across Michael's lap.

Ryan stood up. "I can take you home, Lindsay," he offered. "I mean, if Michael wants to stay."

Michael looked away from the screen to meet Ryan’s eyes. He raised his eyebrows in a question to which Ryan replied with a subtle nod. Lindsay only saw the smirk that split her husband’s face as he turned to her. “Yeah, I think I stick around here for a while, if it’s cool with you, babe,” he said.

“Yeah, I mean, sure,” Lindsay was suddenly hesitant at seeing the triumphant expression on Michael’s face.

Ryan handed Lindsay her jacket and they were at the door when Michael called out. “Don’t you think you owe me something before you go?” Lindsay and Ryan exchanged a confused glance then turned back to Michael.

“What exactly do we owe you?” Ryan questioned.

“Not you,” Michael clarified. “Lindsay knows what she owes me.”

Lindsay was still confused, but approached where Michael still sat on the couch. He hadn’t taken his eyes off the screen but he smiled as he saw her approach in his periphery. She leaned to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Is that what you needed?” she asked, indulgent.

“Naw, I need to hear you say it,” he replied.

“Hear...You want to have this talk now?” Lindsay was incredulous. “In front of the whole crew?” Her face was starting to heat.

“No, not that!” Michael finally turned to look her in the face. “C’mon, we’ve been having a discussion for a few weeks and I think it’s finally resolved. And I want to hear your side.”

Lindsay was confused, and it showed on her face. Her lips pursed as her eyes widened when she realized what he wanted to hear. She punched him on the shoulder and said, “Asshole. Fine, you were right. Happy?”

As she walked back to the door, and Ryan, she heard Gavin ask, “What’re you right about, boi?” and Michael’s promise to tell him later.

Lindsay smiled up at Ryan as she reached him again. “So, where we goin’?”

He opened the door and put his hand at the small of her back to guide her through. “I thought you wanted to go home?” he replied.

“Well, yeah,” Lindsay said, her grin mischevious. “But your place or mine?”

*****

Michael stumbled home, too late to bother checking the time. He left the lights off, changing into his pajama pants by feel and crawling into bed. Lindsay was on his side of the bed for some reason, and on top of the duvet, so Michael reached up to shake her shoulder to get her to move, but the shoulder he grabbed was too hard muscled and large to belong to his wife.

“Shit,” he whispered. Ryan was in _his_ bed, sleeping next to _his_ wife, even if it seemed he was still pretty much clothed and laying on top of the blankets. He swallowed his annoyance and straightened to go make himself comfortable on the couch in the living room. An arm grabbed his.

“Don’t go,” Ryan mumbled sleepily.

“Naw, it’s cool,” Michael assured him. “I’ll go crash on the couch.”

Despite their whispers, Lindsay stirred, grumbling. “There’s room, Michael, just come to bed,” she whined, sitting up to reach over Ryan and grab Michael’s other arm. She yanked him, stronger than Michael expected, and he fell into the bed. There was a brief wrestling match as they struggled to get Michael under the blankets while Ryan was still pinning them under his body, but they eventually settled and drifted off to sleep, limbs entangled.

*****

Michael woke slowly, not because he was fully rested but because he was overheated. He could feel Lindsay pressed up against one side, her body hot against his, her head pillowed on his chest and her sweet smelling hair tickling his nose. On his other side was a much larger and harder body, no less warm even through the blankets that separated them. His right arm was pinned under Lindsay, so he wrested his left free to brush her hair off of his face. Both of his companions began to stir at the movement and he angled his head up to meet their eyes.

Lindsay smiled at him, moving her head to press a kiss against his mouth and murmur, “Good morning.” Ryan leaned across Michael’s bare chest and kissed Lindsay as well, and received a similar greeting. “Okay, now your turn,” she suggested, using the hand that was pinned beneath her own chin to indicate the two men should kiss as well.

Michael shrugged, very suggestible when it came to his wife, and leaned forward and captured Ryan’s lips quickly and forcefully. Ryan let him take control of the kiss, letting himself down onto the mattress beside the other man. Michael turned his body toward Ryan, having not expected this soft compliance from the usually dominant man. He broke the kiss only when he heard Lindsay whimper in his ear, turning toward her and raising one eyebrow.

Lindsay let out a shaky breath. “You guys have no idea how hot that was,” she admitted, pressing harder against Michael, throwing her leg over his hip.

"Well," Ryan said. "Far be it from us to deny a lady what she wants." He rocked closer to kiss Michael again, his free hand caressing Michael's face. Michael tried to wiggle the arm pinned between them beneath the other man and brushed against something long and hard against his thigh.

He broke away. "RY-yan, did you really forget to take your gun out of your pocket before coming to bed?" he accused.

Ryan looked adorably confused. "What? No, my gun's right here," he reached down between the mattress and boxspring and withdrew his black automatic pistol. "Safety's on, I promise."

"Then what's thi-" Michael broke off as he dragged his hand along the hardness between them and Ryan twitched, closing his eyes.

"I think he's just happy to see you," Lindsay suggested.

Michael's eyes widened. "Seri- SERIOUSLY?" he turned to meet Lindsay's eyes. "You must be fuckin' wrecked!"

Lindsay giggled. “Worth it,” was all she said, meeting Ryan’s eyes. His answering grin was wicked. Michael groaned and turned back to Ryan, fumbling his hand into the other man’s open jeans for first hand confirmation.

“Whoa, slow down,” Ryan cautioned with a laugh.

“Yeah, fuck that,” Michael replied. He scrambled out from under the blankets and yanked on Ryan’s pants, roughly pulling at both the jeans and boxers. Ryan obligingly lifted hips and Michael was able to get them down around his knees, though he got distracted by the sight in front of him so Ryan had to kick his pants off himself.

Michael stared in rapt fascination at the half-hard cock in front it him, the head dark red against the pale skin around it. “It’s...good god, I think Gav might have a toy this big but he only breaks it out for special occasions,” he said reverently. He wrapped his hand around it and stroked up the length of it lightly, making Ryan hiss and his cock twitch, getting harder under Michael’s attention. Michael nudged Ryan's knees apart and moved to kneel between them on the bed as Lindsay untangled herself from the blankets and pressed herself against Ryan, her head next to his.

"He looks like a kid with a new toy," Lindsay commented, watching her husband spit onto Ryan's hard on and wrap his hand around it firmly. Michael's eyes were still wide, as was his joyous grin.

Ryan gasped at the feeling of Michael's stroke up and down his cock. "Yeah," he agreed when he caught his breath. "If he wasn't so intent on getting me off, I'd almost feel used." Ryan's hand slid under her panties and ghosted over her labia. "I'm sorry I hurt you," he apologized sincerely. "If I'd known I would have-"

Lindsay cut him off. "It's a good kind of sore," she reassured him.

"Can I make it up to you?" Ryan asked, his eyes holding a hint of lustful mischief.

"Sure," Lindsay allowed. He told her to take her panties off and once that was done, reached over and just dragged her bodily over him, lifting her easily into position with knees on either side of his head and her pussy right in his face. Lindsay wasn't going to think about how strong his arms and core had to be to accomplish such a feat, but she definitely filed that thought away for another time.

Ryan grasped her hips and held her steady, holding her just above his mouth as he slid his tongue along her already wet lips. She gasped when he pressed over her already sensitive clit, so he raked his tongue over it several times in succession.

She was almost ready to ask him to slow down when one of his hands dropped her hip, leaving her listing to one side a bit, leaning against the wall behind her.

"Jesus, Michael!" Ryan cried, reaching down his chest to fist his hand in Michael's hair. "You gotta work up to it, you'll hurt yourself deep throating with no warm up!" he warned.

"I can do it!" Michael insisted, his voice a little rough already. A string of saliva trailed from his swollen lips to the head of Ryan's penis.

"You can," Ryan allowed. "Just not all at once. You gotta-" His words cut off as he sucked in a breath. Michael was sucking on the head of his cock, stroking the length of it slowly with his hand curled around it.

Michael pulled off. "Got any more blow job advice?" he asked.

Ryan's voice was breathy and higher than his usual deep baritone. "No, no, I think you're good."

Lindsay's muscles trembled with the effort of holding herself in position, but Ryan's hand moved back to hold her in place. He returned to the task of pleasuring the woman above him for a moment but broke off again with a gasp. “Michael-,” he gasped. “I’m gonna-“

Michael popped his mouth off the cock had had been successfully deep throating, but continued running his hand up and down it. “Yeah, you gonna come for me, boss?” he taunted. “I told you I could do it. Now come on, come for me.”

Ryan grunted and Lindsay watched his hips thrust up into her husband’s mouth. She was surprised he was even able to give her a cursory flick with his tongue between the gasps and moans he was producing from deep in his chest. It was only moments later that his muscles tightened and then relaxed, Michael gagging slightly as Ryan’s cum hit the back of his throat before swallowing it down.

Lindsay moved off, kneeling next to the two men, and Michael climbed over the bed to wrap his arms around her, kissing her deeply. Ryan was still breathing hard next to them, but reached out to trail his hand down Lindsay’s back. “Lemme finish…” he offered, trying to sit up and roll Lindsay onto her back. Michael reached out to place a hand on his chest, stopping the other man.

“Hey, you’ve been monopolizing her,” Michael said. “You lay back and let me fuck my own wife for a bit.”

Lindsay giggled when Ryan did as Michael suggested, but wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her back against him. They settled in a row, Michael on top of Lindsay who was leaning back on Ryan. Michael claimed Lindsay’s mouth so Ryan sucked on her neck, right where it met her shoulder. Ryan felt Lindsay squirm against him and saw that Michael’s hand was between her legs.

Michael began mouthing along Lindsay’s skin. “Damn, babe, you’re so wet, it’s fuckin’ amazing,” he murmured. “If I’d known how hot you’d get with two guys I’d have suggested it earlier. Glad it’s Ryan though.” He winked up at the other man. “You like this, babe? You like being between us?”

Lindsay’s moan of pleasure was muffled since Ryan had turned her head toward him and pressed his lips against hers, though her sharp intake when Michael slid two fingers inside her was loud enough to make him pause.

“You okay, babe?” he asked, concerned.

“Just-,” Lindsay said. “I’m just a bit sore. You weren’t kidding about being wrecked.”

Michael grinned wickedly, sliding his fingers from where they rested at her entrance down over her perineum to circle her asshole. “Everywhere?” he asked. Lindsay wordlessly rolled to reach for a bottle of lube from their bedside table and handed it to her husband. He flipped the cap open and slicked his fingers.

While Michael slowly worked Lindsay open, Ryan enjoyed the access to her body that Michael’s new position afforded him. He ghosted his fingers over her body, up and down her arms, across her belly, over her breasts. Only when she was trembling did he put more pressure behind his touches, cupping her breasts with his palms and rolling her nipples between his fingers. Michael had to put his free hand on her hip to keep her from arching off the bed entirely.

Once Lindsay was prepped enough, Michael slid an extra pillow under her hips to get the angle right. He spread lube over his neglected cock, pausing to stroke it a few times. 

"Babe," Lindsay said firmly, reminding him what he was about. Michael relented and pressed against her slicked hole, slowly sinking into her. Lindsay breathed through her nose as she adjusted to the fullness in her ass, as Ryan continued teasing her breasts and tracing patterns on her skin.

"You good?" Michael asked, and when Lindsay nodded he began moving inside her. She let out little gasps at the sensation.

"You look so amazing," Ryan said softly. “Both of you.” He moved his hand down between her and Michael's bodies to strike at her clit. Lindsay started bucking between Ryan's hand and Michael's cock, overwhelmed by the feelings. She arched her head back and Ryan kissed her again. 

Lindsay could feel her orgasm building, between the slide and pressure of Michael inside her ass and Ryan's thick finger flicking over her clit. She arched up off the bed as it washed over her, waves of pleasure emanating from her very core until she was shaking and pulling Ryan's hand away to curb the over stimulation.

Michael groaned as Lindsay came, watching her sweat streaked body shudder beneath him. He could feel all her muscles tighten, especially where he was sunk into her. He followed her over the edge, his orgasm wrenched from his body by her clenched hole. He let her legs fall to his sides from where he had been bracing them and collapsed on top of the others, his softening cock sliding out of Lindsay's ass.

Ryan was the first to move, stepping into the ensuite bathroom and returning with two warm damp washcloths. When he returned his lovers were curled next to each other. Lindsay took one cloth to clean herself up and Ryan used the other on Michael.

“Brings a whole new meaning to ‘keeping up with the Jones’’ doesn’t it?” he joked, starting laughs out of the others.

"So, who's gonna freak out the most when we tell them?"

*****

In the end nothing really changed after the crew knew.

Ryan left with Michael and Lindsay more often, and they were a little more free with touches, kisses, loving words, but everything else stayed the same. They planned and plotted, killed and robbed, same as always. 

Michael did stop teasing Lindsay about using making-out-with-Ryan as a distraction technique when he discovered first hand how effective and pleasurable it could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I really appreciate every comment and kudos :)
> 
> (I haven't written smut in nearly a decade, and never a threesome before, I promise I will try and improve for the next one (which is a college AU that I am about half way through already))
> 
> Huge shout out to Lara (ryanthenippleguy on tumblr) for her assistance in finding a semi-believable way to get these three in bed together. And the mistaking-Ryan's-cock-for-a-gun thing is all her as well. You're the best!

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on my RT side blog on tumblr, insert-blank-wood.tumblr.com


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